A Mosaic of Emotions: The Beginning
In the early days of dating my now husband, we had all of the obvious conversations - what are you looking for in a partnership, what dreams and plans do you have for your career, your passions, and really, most importantly, what do you hope for in a family?
It was never a doubt, or even a second thought for us, combined, that we wanted 3-5 kids. My husband grew up as an only child, and to this day feels pangs of sadness about not having a sibling to do life beside. I have one brother, who is extremely independent in his marriage and lifestyle and as adults, we haven’t had the opportunity to be very close. Together, my husband and I yearned for a pack of kiddos - one that would fight hard and love fiercely, everything siblings are supposed to do together.
I had struggled with my health for several years before Rick and I met, but it wasn’t until a ways into our relationship that I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. We did as much research as we could about trying to conceive, pregnancy and postpartum after my diagnosis, and we even chose to have a preconception consultation with a high risk OB/GYN, also called a Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist, before we ever started trying to have a baby. We wanted to ensure that all of the medications I was taking to maintain Crohn’s disease remission were safe and advised for pregnancy, and that we were prepared for any obstacles or hardships we might run into.
As we’d expected, we were told that Crohn’s disease by itself would not impact my fertility, or chances of getting pregnant. We were given the doctors blessing to go forward, and we excitedly began trying to become parents.
We knew that it could take several months successively of trying, so we didn’t get discouraged right away. That’s not to say we weren’t disappointed with each negative test, but in those early days, it just fueled us with more motivation to move forward - tracking ovulation and scheduling intercourse and really sucking the fun right out of intimacy.
Nine months into our adventure, I scheduled an appointment with my OB. I was looking for advice on “trying” harder. Maybe better ways to track my ovulation, or how to get my cycle to be more consistent in length, or any other tips she had.
She told me she had no magic answer. And, all of my labs came back normal. So she recommended my husband go for a semen analysis.
The following week, she called me and said “I’m so sorry, but you’re probably not going to be pregnant without technological intervention.”
Excuse me, what?
I did not expect to hear those words. I honestly didn’t even know exactly what those words meant at the time. But infertility wasn’t part of my plan. I didn’t know what it meant for us.
To make a long story much shorter, my husband's original analysis came back within normal limits, but at the low end for morphology and motility. We were referred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist, who had a 3 month wait time. After a comprehensive assessment, both my husband and I went through a significant amount of physical testing. Ultimately, we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. His second and third sperm analyses indicated that we were not dealing with male factor infertility, and while we were somewhat relieved, we were also a bit frustrated. What did unexplained infertility mean? What were the recommended steps on our journey to parenthood?
My next post will break down all this and more, plus the steps we started with and what I would recommend to anyone walking through the same situation.
